Haphazard Observations

You are probably familiar with Stephen Covey’s “Big Rocks” theory that he wrote about in his book “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. I had forgotten all about it until I saw a cute desk trinket. It was a rock with the words “Big Rocks 1st” inscribed on it. If you are not aware of the analogy, it is the concept of choosing to put the important things in your life, “Big Rocks” in your “jar” of life 1st, and then letting the little things “pebbles” fill in the gaps around. If you allow all the little things in life to go in 1st, you won’t have room for the “Big Rocks.” This concept sounds so simple, just choose the important things. Yeah, right……

For starters, what ARE your Big Rocks? Sometimes they are easy to spot, other times they are buried with just the corner sticking out, so much so that you have forgotten about them, or dont have the energy to dig them out, so you leave them buried. On the other hand, sometimes you are so neck deep in pebbles that you can’t even see the boulders. You know they are in there somewhere, but they are buried in the tediousness of day to day living. Furthermore, those dang rocks continually change in size! So what was once the largest rock, now is just bits of sand. How many rocks should I have? At times it feels ALL my rocks are big and I don’t have room for them all even if I try to put them in 1st! That’s when we start to juggle. Hold this one for a bit, then throw it up to catch another, all the while trying not to drop the REALLY big ones. It’s exhausting just thinking about it.

The point is, choosing the Big Rocks is hard. Putting the Big Rocks in 1st place takes discipline, purpose, daily choices and work. Think of constant motion rather than a 1 time task. Is it ever ok to put down a Big Rock? Sure, maybe. Short term sacrifice for long term gain is fine, until it becomes long term sacrifice for gain that never appears. How long is too long for a rock to sit on the side? That timeline is hard to establish. Big Rocks are quiet and sit politely on the side. The little rocks are loud and have barbs that stick to your clothes. They are demanding and appear urgent. Choosing the Big Rocks is choosing yourself, or choosing the life you say you want for yourself. It can feel selfish. Other people may, or may not even be aware of what rocks are big for you because their rocks are entirely different. So you choosing yours, sometimes means you don’t choose theirs. Also, other people might not agree or understand what your rocks are. However, remember, YOU decide. You are the only one who gets to decide the size of any given rock in your life at any given time. You decide how much weight your “jar” can currently hold. Trying to hold or juggle too many rocks, or other people’s rocks is risking breaking your jar completely.

We all should take some time on a regular basis to identify our Big Rocks. Just because I have been juggling these same ones for the past 5 years, does that mean they are still the most important things? Probably not. Seasons of life change, priorities change, your goals and visions change. Make sure the rocks you are paying attention to are the right ones, not just the same ones you have been routinely caring for.

So, yes, we should all put the “Big Rocks 1st” Mr. Covey. Just, let’s not use the word “put”. That just makes it seem so easy. Seems like a “just do it” moment, but it is far from that. It’s a lifestyle of constant change. reevaluating, reinventing.

So there you are standing on the side of a riverbed with all sizes of rocks and pebbles and sand at your feet. Take a moment to enjoy the sound of the water in the creek, listen to the birds, find some calm and examine all the choices of priorities around you. Choose the ones that speak to YOU. Make a decision. If you don’t, the little ones will easily push you around and decide for you. Decide. Be firm. Protect THOSE rocks for a season. Then feel free to revisit that creek bed from time to time. Give yourself permission to adjust. Just don’t forget to do it. Don’t let it all just race past you. Thank you so much for spending this time with me. Now, I have to excuse myself. I hear the creek calling. 😉